3 Badass, Positive Habits That Transformed My Life

Woe is Me!

On May 1, 2017, I woke up and felt a catastrophic sense of dread. For the first time in my life, I did not want to get up and start the day; instead, I wanted to just remain asleep. I felt a heavy hold on my heart, and I was both frustrated and appalled.

From that alarming moment on, I deployed my resources to figure out how to get back on the train of happiness. Here are the three badass, positive habits I formed that can help you transform your life too!

I worked with therapy and coaches, attended retreats in different countries, journaled, studied and embarked on quite a spectacular journey. Some of these conscious efforts became habits that continue to impact my life in an uplifting way. From the cocoon of dissatisfaction and discontent, I broke free to embrace a transformed life.

The changes I made have manifested themselves as follows:

I’m now actively engaged in my life purpose. I love and believe in my work, which supports my lifestyle in return.
I’m in my best physical shape, natured by a well-balanced diet and workout regimens. I also pay attention to my emotional hygiene.
I’m genuinely connected with myself, my significant other, my family and my immediate circle.

Why Positive Habits Matter

In her recent book “Good habits, Bad habits“, American psychologist Wendy Wood stated:

“…about 43 percent of what people do every day is repeated in the same context, usually while they are thinking about something else”.

Wendy spent three decades studying and researching the science of how we form habits. In this interview with Behavioral Scientist, she explained:

“Habits are a learning mechanism. All we have to do is repeat something and get rewarded for it, and we’re learning a habit.”

This is such simple yet profound information.
As creatures of habit, what we automatically do every day defines the entire outlook of our life. It also explains how, when we want to make changes in our lives, what we need is to modify our habitual patterns. Whether is to cultivate good habits that bring positive benefits to our physical and mental health, or to be rid of bad habits that are hindering ourselves from our wellbeing and growth.

3 Badass Habits That Propelled My Life Changes

Without further ado, here are three badass habits that propelled the shifts in my life:

Habit 1. Seek Purpose.

A brilliant definition of purpose by psychotherapist and meditation teacher Jonathan Gustin:

“To wake up, grow up and show up“. To me, it’s about redirecting the spotlight into ourselves, awaken to our true selves, values, and motivations, as well as taking complete responsibility for our lives.”

“Seeking” is a continuous process. Seeking is not knowing all the answers, for the very act of seeking is to learn and to develop. So we begin with curiosity:

What is my passion?
What energizes me?
What makes me happy?

During my quest for life purpose, I came to understand “Healing” and “Serving” are the two keywords for my calling. So I turned to:

Build a career out of serving (consulting and coaching)
Engage in volunteer activities (local community service and charity work)
Incorporate rituals that enhance my spiritual and personal growth, such as daily mediations, seasonal retreats, and holistic events

With this habit, I now wake up to a sense of awe, gratitude, and hopefulness. I plan my life with clarity and focus, and I listen to what life is asking of me so I can learn how better to serve.

Mission discovery resources for you to try

If you haven’t tapped into your own mission discovery, there are many resources available online. I’ve listed some here for you to try: 😉

Oprah: How to Uncover the Talents Only You can Offer the World.
DavidJi: This is How to Discover Your Passion.
Deepak Chopra: 6 Tools for Discovering and Fulfilling Your Life’s Purpose
TedTalk: Talks to Help You Find Your Purpose

Habit 2. Keeping My Body Movin’

We’re no strangers to all the benefits physical activities bring to our health and mental wellbeing. A recent study done by the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health found that running for 15 minutes a day or walking for an hour reduces the risk of major depression by 26%.

Back in 2017, whenever I felt down and distressed, one thing always made me feel better was the 2-hour hike on a small mountain area in the metropolitan city I was living (Shenzhen, China). I was able to get away from the hustle and bustle, be with nature and give myself a quiet space to reflect. Here’s a picture of this ‘special place’:

A photo I shot myself from Nanshan Mountain in Shenzhen, China

Yoga training, pilates, barre, kickboxing, weight lifting, cycling, jogging … I tried a wide range of workouts before pinpointing those I love and building them into my daily exercise routine.

You don’t need an athletic body type or a gym membership to get into the habit, but you DO need to find out the right type of activity that:

Connects you to your body, i.e, you are conscious of how your body feels
Provides you with satisfaction and achievement
Challenges you enough so you maintain the interest to push and grow

Exercise releases negative energy!

When we go through a traumatic or stressful experience, we often don’t get to discharge that energy from our nervous system and it’s then trapped. This trapped energy would manifest itself in an unpleasant and often harmful way in our daily interaction: we scream at our loved ones, we become lethargic and shut down, we can’t feel genuine joy so we turn to chemical substances such as alcohol.

That is why body movement has been essential for my own healing process. By practising various mind-body exercises such as yoga, I was able to connect my physical being with my body sensations, metabolize the stress-energy so it could move through and out of my body.

To form this habit, find what works for you, even if it’s only going for a walk in the park for 30 minutes. 🏃‍♀️

Habit 3. Tend to Good Relationships

Robert Waldinger, the director behind the longest study (75 years) on adult life and happiness by Harvard, explained in his famous TedTalk “What Makes a Good Life” that:

“Good relationships keep us happier and healthier…Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too.”

Also, we’re NOT JUST the average of the five people we spend the most time with!

This fascinating research on happiness in a large social network conducted by Havard professor Nicholas Christakis and political scientist James Fowler has shown that “social networks have clusters of happy and unhappy people within them that reach out to three degrees of separation. A person’s happiness is related to the happiness of their friends, their friends’ friends, and their friends’ friends’ friends”.

Tend to genuine relationships like you’d cultivate your garden

Tending to genuine relationships have been tremendously impactful on my personal growth. For the past two and a half years, I’ve become increasingly aware of who I spend time with. This is not only means associating myself with those who share similar values and visions as mine but also setting boundaries that would in return nourish my relationships with myself and those around me. I’m also cautious about what I’m getting from and contributing to social media, because of its integral part in my life.

For example, on Instagram, I only follow accounts that:

a) Inspire and Encourage People

b) Provide useful knowledge

c) Provoke a sense of awe and connection

I hold these standards for my own social media accounts too.

Your turn…

As my favorite spiritual teacher, Jack Kornfield, elegantly pointed out:

“The Path Is Not Linear, but Circular and Continuous.”

The path to any goal and achievement will be met with uncertainties and challenges, the same goes for forming positive, life-transforming habits. But don’t deprive yourself of the chance to learn and to thrive!

Be courageous to follow your passion and live on purpose.
Be adventurous to try different activities and keep your body moving.
Be conscientious about your relationships and social network.

I can assure you, big, beautiful and exciting things await… 😎

p.s, What badass habits do you harness and are proud of? I want to hear about them! Share your badassness below in the comments section.

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